Friday 27 March 2009

A head of mixed thoughts and a body of mixed emotions!


Im trying....in my husbands words "yeah , very"..... I am though... I wish my body would connect with my head....does that make sense?...what I mean is...I feel ok in my head..I wanna get out there but my body is saying NO!!!!! but in fact it is the other way around....my body is ok but the head is saying NO....does ya know what i mean LOL...... head sends signals to the body.... der im confused me self now! ... well in the morning im gonna have a go at walking round a small town...it wont be far but i will try........... ahhhhhh scared! but need to go to Wilkinsons as I have put me plastic green house up (well paul has) and I have put some toms in tonight (bought from tinternet...rare types..hierloom seeds) and I have allsorts of flowers to do too! bought some weird seeds from ebay...like black sunflower and chocolate aquilliga... black cherry tomatoes etc....cant wait to see me garden this yr! I love dabblin in the garden and it is so good for you..... althought the past 2 yrs has been bloody crap ... could have grown some Kelp or water lilies! with all the stinkin rain. ..............also another aim is I am gonna go on the sunbed this wk..... I have been gonna go on all wk but im scared...scared of gettin too hot and having palps..and being naked with the palps.... lol...oh the thought!....cos im sick of fake tan... i am goin around like a great big satsuma half the time... i aint ever found one yet that suits me!....need some colour to me ...makes me feel better.....so guys... heres to the wench signing off...till next time! bysey bye lemon pie! my greenhouse is the same as this one!

Saturday 21 March 2009

Sick of feelin like crap


Well I am..... nervous...from the pit of my stomach...still scared to walk far.... I seriously want my life back....sick of it...I aint been bloggin cos whats the point ...its all been bad for so long.... I was feelin better!..... but im worse as ever...I just hope that the good weather will pick me up and give me some hope.... i dont know what to do with myself! ...... how is everyone else feeling??????

Wednesday 11 March 2009

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeee!


Hiya guys....it was my birthday yesterday and I had a lovely day as much as gifts and cards and messages but all day I felt so stressed and upset. Some trouble in the village upset me, being accused of something I havn't done ...it made me so angry I just wanted go bloody mad! I suppose this is what you get when you put your self on the front line i.e Neighbourhood watch.... yes I am still running it wih my freind and we are doing soooo well, nearly 400 have joined up in our village alone...doesn't this say something....we need it! I live in a littel old pit village and the crime at the moment has gone up and up... but the folk are the same folk (criminals) all the time making peoples lives so miserable...I had a lady call at mine last night because she was just sat watching tv all relaxed when bang...egg on her window...she was alone and scared as she knew the kids wanted her attention to be able to hurl abuse...so she waited till they went and came to my door for moral support...she was shakin from head to toe...ok it was only an egg..that's not what bothered her! it was the intimidation!.......... the frustrating thing about all the stuff going on her (knife crime,car damage,assault,shed robbing,theft from houses,burning cars out,nicking from gardens,scratching parked cars) the Police have their hands tied because the judges are not giving out proper sentancing....slap on the wrist, bit of community service and they are out planning the next crime!......................................... what is it like where you live...??? Is it as bad as here....leave me a comment and let me know x