Right then wench...lets get a grip of things!

This is the quote I gave my self this morning!....... because.. Im still a nervous wreck...im still getting the palps...then no palps...panic... etc blah blah blah... but today I have been thinkin about the good things and I have found improvement...... You know me little electric bike that I have still not given you a peep of me on it yet...well these past couple of weeks I have overcome going places on me own on it.... I now can go down the st to the shops on me own as long as Im on me electric bike...... also today I went to the end of the village to the community house as I was helping prepare dinner for the biddies meal we do for them once a month...Well since Ive started there i have always got a lift! well today without even thinkin about it...I trotted/rode/floated there on me electric bike! ...no probs.... so the agoraphobia is going..... so the big question is this!...??? ...... why the bloody hell am i left with this fear of walkin????? every time i walk i feel so vunerable and my heart pounds and goes wonky and i feel like crap...i can walk about the house all day long.... but walk across the road and I struggle ....I feel I have a phobia of walkin ...goin back to that one day when i had that first horrid attack when riding me bike and excercising...its ever since that one day!...is this fear of excersing logged in my head which makes my heart go wonky because it went wonky that day or am I dyin!?.......................... I just wish I could pop along to the doctor but the thought makes me wanna crwl under the keys of this computer and hide away....talk about burying your head in the sand!..... HELLPPPP ME!!!!!! ....... any way to keep you going here is a piccy of a bike the same as mine.....x

Having a tough time

I should be ashamed of myself I know... no bloggin ..no commentin on other blogs..but I promise I have been reading your blogs everyday! .... but I suppose you could say I am a little down, sapped , drained,fed up, tired and down right pissed off. I feel like I have no future at the moment but am sooooo trying to stay positive...life is almost like being stuck in a stagnant pond unable to move due to being poisened by the shite that surrounds you!.... but I have to ...I was introduced the other day to a dvd, book, website about some positive thinking etc...well it goes a bit deeper than that and I have been tryin to give it a go... here is the link to the site ...have a look...it's rather bizzarre and "different" but if it helps me in my life I dont care if it was purple zebras massaging me daily with lavender oil!..... that sounds pretty gud actually LOL..... LINK.... http://thesecret.tv/ it called " the secret"...basically it is supposed to be the ancient answer to the secret of success, health...life! .... works for some...I actually downloaded the film from a torrent site...very intersesting! ........

Come on lass!!!!!

Well I never..... been terrible...thats all I can say...had flutters all day long for 4 days!!,Been here before and it does ease.... sara if you are reading this do you still get the ectopics and have you had them all day before?.... sorry just needed to ask you hun? ...... I have been fiancially stressed and I do think this is what has done it!............soooooooooooooooooooooooooo skint!...never been this skint in 10 years! to the point of havin hardly no food in the cupboard ...honest... but I have decided Whats the point in worrying ..I dont think ant of my family would allow us to starve!...suppose it all comes down to pride! Any way i did get out in the snow to build a snowman that I named bob who is in me pic.....them two borin buggers wouldnt help me...................................................................................................................... just had panic attack whilst writin this.. had to do a big leap outside to calm down!.... bless I was there upset sat on the kitchen floor and Rueben came up to me a licked my tear ! and sat up close to me...he sensed I was upset...dogs are so wonderful ..especially my Rueben x signin off to try n chill.........................................................WHEN AM I GONNA GET BETTER GOD! I WAS DOIN SO WELL.....WAT'S HAPPENED (CRY CRY)

Set back....It's a long road to recovery!

Well i have had an awful week..... had the old flutters and palps back ...but hey..I have had a gud month... so I shouldnt really complain...I feel less scared because I think.. well Rach.. you had such a gud month with hardly any palpatations ..soI dont think a heart problem comes and goes on its own..... I think it may be due to the fact that I have a heavy cold and have been poorly...Im hopin so ...so this week I need to get up back on me feet and try to get back to where I was before...I have still been getting out and about even with the palps I thought No chance mate are you keeping me in!!... I WENT SHOPPING WITH THEM, BEEN DECORATING AT NEILS WITH THEM ( iN TOWN MAY i ADD) ... and still wizzin like a mad woman round the streets on me bike of course! LOL .... so please say a little prayer for me cos at this moment in time ..."one feels like shite"

... ;o)