Thursday, 22 December 2011


Hi guys and gals...... well that time of year again...omg I love it....yesterday I went to Doncaster on the bus with none of us was heaving busy... I remember a time when in Doncaster i could not cope at all but I loved it..... went to loads of shops and queue's and felt a possible 20% anxiety ....heart was pounding all the time but I never let it carry away as it was hot..I was rushing and I was excited!!!! I even ate whilst out which is a big thing for me especially being so far from home...... I wanna wish you all a healthy, prosperous and self healed new year...and a wonderful Christmas xxxxxxxxx thanks for all your comments still even though I hardly blog now..... I smile everytime someone says they have read my blog and they have been inspired... I love it!.......and glad I did it as I have met some lovely people on my way x...take care and Merry Christmas xxxxx

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

NEW VENTURE................

Sunday, 16 October 2011

wow.........! healed

Hi people..... wow I am getting straight to the point....... Im gob smacked at how ill I was!!!!! I have been reading my blog and comments and cant believe how different I am now, I have been through the most amazing journey ever in my life, but I have learned so much from it!..........about my self and also about values, morals, love, appreciation!.......since becoming 99% better (still got a few issues to overcome) I cant tell you how I just LOVE being alive every day!! .....I thank God for my family and my Good friends , I have so many good friends that have helped me on my path of healing. I know how poorly I was and I know some of you out there, fellow readers are still suffering and you just don't see the light at the end of your dark foul tunnel..... I can tell you peeps there is HOPE!!!...... But I did have to kick my own ass, work towards a positive attitude and try to stay focused and every glitch, every palpitation episode felt like a set back but I shook my self and starting again! ................ you need to tell your mind what to do rather than your mind telling you what to do ! ....train your brain into thinking positive thoughts and in the end your body will respond and not react to fear! ...FEAR has been a BIG thing in my life to overcome and apart from my doctor phobia which is still being worked on.... (70% there now) I can honestly say I am not a bag of quivering arseoles anymore!..... I have just recently been on holiday on the norfolk broads with some girly friends in the middle of nowhere..... I had a great time. If you had of said to me 2 yrs ago ..."rach,,, you will be on a boat in the middle of the country side " I would have laughed ass of and curled back up on the sofa watching telly in my safe spot!...................... the only downside to getting better is for my family cos Im never in! it..... but my Daughter is reaiping the benefits as she is now coming shopping with me on the bus!...yeah ME on a bus shopping!.................... when I say Im 99% better the 1% is going shopping to town on my own! ....I aint done that yet, I will go to my mothers on the bus on my own but not to town BUT I will!!!!! Prob will attempt it at cristmas time.
Well Guys im signing off for now.......... But I shall be back to see you all .... x x x
me n my mate in photo on our hols!

Sunday, 1 May 2011

feelin better

Well peeps had a huge set back but after one session of therapy and understanding why i had the symptoms again i am feeling alot better!...yippie!..........once your brain makes sense of whats happening and relate the stress to a time in your life where you felt vunerable you can begin to work on your emotions! and also im not a great cryer but this therapy always brings on the dont realize what a release it is to have a good cry come on peeps get the tissues out and have a weep...... release some pressure! xxxxxxx

Sunday, 10 April 2011

bloody major setback...gottta fight it

Well, back with a bloody vengence or what!!!...... STRESS!... been having the old out o sync heart palps when walking about again! really bad! ..Gosh its can I have em for yrs and yrs then they stop for 8 months then wham! back again!...but I am being positive and believing they will go again! they will I know they will...... I have had a lot of stress on with my mother and father as I am the only one out of 4 girls to look after them.... anyway... i need to get over this blip and get my self right again!!

Thursday, 31 March 2011

bulls bollocks!...

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what a week!.... basically this wk I have struggled with some old symptoms like heart palpataions when i walked, I was pretty shocked when they started again but i think i know why..... I have been so inspired and had a lot of help when i was poorly with it all from a website called no more panic! brill website...well i hadnt been on it for a while so i thought i would have a look... i started reading some of my old posts from a few yrs ago when i was suffering VERY bad...the next day all the symptoms started again...i coudlnt believe it....def' psycological!!!!.......but I decided to take the bull by the scrotum! and wade through.....rather than stay inside scared of walking I walked, on my own and further! it worked.......there gone again! THANK THE BULL! I am feeling great again! ......just shows, dont let it beat you, tell ur brain what to do rather than your brain telling you what to do .....such a simple thing to do ...but it works!...any way I hope you are all well , take care and blog to u soonies xx

Sunday, 6 March 2011


well after 4 yrs of struggling to get out the house I actually struggle now to stay in! ain't it amazing! ... But at the moment everyone is suffering from being bored... I was thinking today...omg when i was locked in the house (not literally) how the hell did I cope!...wot did I actually do with myself.....the answer came.... I sat worrying about my heart ,,,my health and everything else! took my day up... i just thank God I am well. I was talking to a Friend today who hasn't seen me since I got well and she only ever knew me with agoraphobia ,,,, she moved over to Holland (her home) we chatted on Skype and she couldn't believe that I now walk with out my bike or even get on a bus... as I was telling her things I thought wow ,,,, I am better..we even talked about me going to see her on a plane! with my Daughter ...and I am seriously thinking about it... I wouldn't do it on my own but i don't see that being a failure i just accept now that there are some things in life we don't do on our isn't particularly a weakness its just who you are....but I would really love to go to Holland especially with my Libby......... any how...signing off for now...night guys and gals!

Friday, 4 March 2011

Well at last ... you too can do it

I had a time in my life where my blog was one of my crutches... but now I am well I really do hardly post anymore...sometimes I feel selfish and think "what about my blogger freinds" but i do still look at your progresses and I am happy some have been renewed but also sad that things havnt changed for others...... I never ever thought there would be light at the end of the tunnel for me, I remember sat trying to imagine my self walking around the corner and I couldnt...I believed I never would again...but it is when i changed that belief and believed that I would... you need to tell your brain positive things and your brain WILL in the end respond to your positive commands! it will ...scientificaly it will..... I am happy I am well and i never want to be in that place again...and I believe I wont!