Wednesday, 19 November 2008

feeling better

Hi peeps, I have not been here for a while cos I have been soooooo busy gallavanting! I have been going out and about
pics are me @ andreas the weekend I went to Andreas on the farm with Libby was great andguess what ...never panicked, slept like a baby and felt great! I feel like I am improvin at the moment (dont know how long it will last) but i am def doing things that I wasnt doing this tome last yr! I have started back at the supermarkets agin rahter than shopping online with Asda! I am having less palpitations and less panic attacks and I have started to walk with my bike in my hand for a little bit..... Even my panic attacks have been shorter! I just hope and pray to God this continous.... I know I may have a set back but ive got to be prepared for it! ..... at least i have had a break...and it has made me convince myself my symtoms are anxiety and not an illness.... Please pray for me peeps ..I need tto stay focused and carry on...I have been doin allsorts in the community and loving it! ... i have a purpose in life again ...a reason for carrying on.... xxx take care guys!
This pic is of the christmas boxes.... me and mum do the "samaritans Christmas child" every year, its a great cause...just fill a shoe box with essentials and gifts for a war torn child. for some reason its come out sideways!

Saturday, 8 November 2008

Naked neck dispute!

Right guys i need your help.. you know we bred
the naked necks this yr ...well now they are fully grown and have these great big naked necks..... I think in the winter during frost and snow these poor little naked neckies will get cold... I am in a dispute with Paul.. I am wanting to knit some neck tubes to keep them warm! I have asked his mother and she is all for it! What do you think... should I??.... I am not one for dressing dogs up or anything like that, its not for cosmetic purposes its practical!!! they need to be warm! but he thinks im nuts!!!!!!!!

Sunday, 2 November 2008

I feel like a pupa!

Yes I do, I feel like a Pupa on the underside of a dark tree with the prospects of knowing one fine day a stunning colourful me with emerge... but at the moment I do , I feel like a pupa, locked inside this dark and warm area of my life but I am lookin positive,.... I know it seems a contradictive statement but I do .... the symptoms of the stress are still hovering , some days really bad...but Im still getting out i did a craft stall at the village father inlaw picked me up and dropped me off and I sat there on my little (big) self and sold £45.00 of my creative little projects to members of the public! Libby came after 2 and a half hrs....I was fine.... i then got a lift home.... the thing that is getting to me the most at the moment is this fear of walking anywhere..... is this a symptom of agraphobia or is it a fear of walking..... i fear to walk because the min' I do the old heart starts to flip and flop... but when i have to walk I get my self so worked up that its gonna do it that it does it anyway!!!! do you understand...what are your feelings on you think im dying or do you think its fear causing these palps when walking about!....anyway here is some photos of my stall.... lets hope the butterfly emerges soon guys............... for us all..................