Saturday, 30 August 2008

Yippie .. a few good days!..panic free


Oh it has been nice these past 2-3 days have been pretty good with Paul leaving me on my own all day on Thursday and rather than being on tender hooks like normal and planning which freinds are in...and who to run too today.... I was fine... In fact he left me whilst I was in the bath..I dont know if any other panic attack sufferers are like this...if so leave a comment...cos its strange... I just feelmore vunerable and scared...prob something to do with being naked and the fact that I would have to get dressed before I run out into the street ( or would I...LOL...Ive been arrested for worse LOL) But anyway I did it...most of the day...I cleaned and ate lunch which is something else I dont like to do if im on my own.... eating is a no no when on me own as I get alot of my palpatations after eating...palps~panic~panic~palps...vicious circle!!!! I even have to plan my meals around going out...for instance If in a morning I need to go down to the shops i wont eat till I get back...as they start straight after about half an hr after ive eaten...I have read alot up on the subjuect and appaerntly is has something to do with the vegas nerve being stimulated nr the gut to the heart and when ur nervos system is to pot then this sends the wrong signals to the heart which makes it irregular and palp away!!! OMG... something strange has just happened to me guys...and i am gonna write it even if you think im nuts...as I was typing ..Im here in my bedroom as Paul sleeps in the other room ( due to my night terrors) and I had a sense that my late sister just came into my room...I could smell her too!!!! Goose bumps going on ere!!!!!!! OHHHHH !!!! how spookie! ,,, Im not scared ..I have had this feeling about 4 times before.... It makes me want to cry as I miss her so much...she has been gone 4 yrs.... any way back to typing my stuff!!! LOL...you must all think im mad ( I am LOL) well Im doing a bit of ramblin tonight but hey! what this corner of my universre for !!! hoping for a chilling weekend! Big brother nearly over so now its x factor that im enjoying!!! so speak soon peeps and thanks for stopping by! xxxxx PS..... someone found this piccy of me the other day...I was 18 yrs old...note the hat!!!! What a laugh eh!

3 comments:

goooooood girl said...

So good......

Virgnia said...

I have anxiety too. I haven't had a chance to read all your posts, but I'd like to keep up with them. It's good to hear someone feels the same way I do.
tI have been reading women's blogs because I am starting one of my own. I hope you'll visit it if you have time

Coffeecup said...

Love the outfit Rach, it takes me right back. You wanna see the state of me at 18 in Goth gear!!! OMG!

PS. Know exactly what you mean about being panicky in the buff. It's no fun when you feel at your most vulnerable and find yourself alone. Hope the spirit was your sister. Maybe she's watchin out for you? xx