Happy New Year to you all

What an oppertunity to say " Happy New Year " to so many..... glasses raised to a healthy...healing new year!........ i love you all and am looking orward to some major changes in my lie this year...at the end o the day it is down to me aint it!

Love Rach

Birthday blog is on 8th Jan 9 ( 1 yr of bloogin)....

My new face book friends

Ahhhh Im so happy... I have had 3 new facebook freinds from my blog and also from NMP website ... it is really great to be able to chat online to folk who really really know what you are going through! I have found so many new Friends since having anxiety disorder...its he best thing that has come out of it all.... there is a reason for everything we go through....so to all you peeps who have been so good to me...Thank you...Thank you so much for your support and efforts to keep me sane..... we need to keep in touch with each other especially when companies are going bankrupt...I even thought about the blogging world...what if blog spot go under!!! how would i contact folk....so get on to face book and add me as a friend (Rachel Hughes was parsons) or add me to your msn.... honeysuckleshop@msn.com......... make sure we stay together cos i wouldn't cope with out you all x x x x x x

My nutty Christmas 2008

Hi Folks...Firstly " Mery Christmas to you all" and I hope you had a fantastic day..... I have had a mixed emotions time over this Christmas... too be honest I have been stressed to bugga.... taken too much on.... done too much fartin about and got me self ito that much of a state have had 3 MAJOR panic attack..... one to the point of near collapse on Christmas eve... 1 hr.... heart got stuck in an ectopic rythm one after the other,,,sheer adrenaline.... fear breedin fear and all that..despite all this negative crap...ive ploughed on.... The fri I did do the "Mother CHristmas thing and I did sing my merry heart out on the back of the float...all around the streets of my village...I had Andrea following in the car as a back up..just in case it became a little too much for me and I panicked but i was fine...with 100 people following .... scarey but lovely...x The other thing I conquered wich I still am stunned I did was the super market... went shoppin to Morrisons and I really dont know to this day how I did it!!! It was heaving!...... Libby came to help but she was a bit of a pain in the arse as she really doesnt understand my panic attacks... so i think the Panic attacks have been just delayed stress reaction as today i have been out and have been very chilled...hoping I sleep and dont wake with an attack like I have been . ANy way here are some pics from me being Ma Christmas...I had to strighten my hair to get the bloody hat on! x x x x x well roll onto the new yr... speak soon my little Christmas Puddings x x x x

Tis the season and all that!!!

Well guys how are you all feeling...I really dont know but I do Thank the good Lord above for internet shoppin! every and I mean Every present has been bought from the internet! Its great! I have not had to do busy bustling queues or crammed shops like Primark... being the 30th in the queue with a 99p bargain cos I just cant resist.... so thank you Ebay...thank you Lakeland and Thank you Amazon ..... youve really helped an agoraphobics christmas.... LOL .... as for feelin well.. Im having a good patch...just been through a bad one now its a good one.... But im nervous for Fri ...its the biggie....me on the back of a lorry dressed as Mother Christmas ( as we have a santa now) ..... with a microphone singing down every street in the village.... I cant believe Im doing this.... I cant walk to the corner shop some days but Im gonna do this.... mind you I have me saftey nets ready...EVERYONE on the lorry knows I suffer with P.A's and I have our Andrea drivin at the back of the lorry to make me know if I want off I can! So knowing that.. I will prob be ok! ....... so photos will be on ere.... wait till you see what I am wearing! OMG ...like somot from Ann Summers! LOL...well not quite but not far off... a small! ( as in length of course) being a size 18-20.... mini red dress! with netting under the skirt and a cape and hat and black boots! I was tempted to go with the fishnets but thought better of it seeing as I am waving to children! ....LOL.... so Im officially ready for crimbo...me 9ft tree came this morning! (only 20.00) Got pine needle rash! ...me and Paul nearly divorced this morning.......and after noon as it took that long to do ...we always fall out cos Pauls like a Grinch/humbug this time of yr...I keep theatening 3 spirits will be visiting but he is still a bAHHH humbug! ..Men are terrible for it I think....we do the bloody lot dont we girls and they sit moaning! My Dad was the same.... Is the same LOL..... One yr I was only 17 and Dad kept saying...dont get me ought.... dont want ought..so I got a massive box and wrapped it up with a toothbrush inside .. a travel one at that.... and he actually shed a tear ...so he never says it now! LOL..cured that one ! I am a bitch! but it was funny at the time.... so bysey bye for now peeps..... enjoy your festivities.... Ive made 120 mince pies in 6 days cos of all me visitors............................ PS .... is anyone on face book....I am Rachel Hughes was Parsons if you wanna add me........ bye 4 now .... xxxx God what a waffle!

Set back but still plodding

Stress levels been up to an amazing hieght..... palps been terrible....the only thing that keeps me sane is the fact I have had a bit of a break from them,,,, been very stressed over finances... I went to school the other day and struggled big time with constant palpataions but managed to do them this christmas display.... no one knew how much I just wanted to go home. ... Yesterday I have a MASSIVE neighbourhood watch meeting where I had to sit infront of 100 villigers and talk along side the police, inspector and sergeant... I phoned up my freind half an hr before and said I couldnt do it as I was in the bath panicking ... but i got out... got ready and was stood at the side of the road for her to pick me up! she was pleased, i was shittin it...but i was OK! Very nervous, heart was pounding but I never ran out....... but the other day I was delivering leaflets with my freind and all of a sudden Panic came.... heart went all out of sync... i stopped a car ( thank fully I knew him) and he took me home...... it was a street I dont normally go down, so of course I felt very defeated! ............. but Ill keep plodding! what else can I do xxxx stay tuned hunnies xx