Im at my wits end...bored...tired and fed up with these ectopics... my life is being taken over again by them.... i am so so so so so so so so so so so fed up..... I really need a job, I think getting back into something will help me get my self sorted.... as I see the pattern that when I am well and truly distracted I am ok.... Well today I went to the super market with ma n pa and I was doing so well, no flutters nothing...then all of a sudden I was walking down an aisle when a massive huge rush of adrenaline went through my body and a feelin of faintness came upon me...my heart pounded a little and my head was swimming...I actually said out loud " Oh dear God whats happening" then everything went back to normal and was fine...but when mum caught up with me I was shakin so she saw me in a state, which I didn't want her too.... I said " Mum ..I just rode out an attack"...so deep down I was happy...so in great Mothers style...she said well come on then and stop talking about it.... so that was it! Went home and had a cream bun! My Mother is so matter of fact, and so get on with it...it sooooooooo wish I was like her, instead I am the image of my Father, a nervous wreck! who is also susceptible to flutters , in fact when he had pneumonia last yr his heart went fully out of sync for about 4 wks but it went back be for they were gonna do the electric shock treatment on him, so it prob is hereditary. Libby has nearly finished her exams and she is still being a typical teen wiv the attitude etc, she is stayin out tonight at her mates house! so I am on edge about that too.... wish she was tucked up here in her little bed xxxx well guys gonna go as I need to be tucked up in mine xxxx
4 comments:
Hiya Rachel. Tashi thinks you've found half the answer already ... when you said, "I think getting back into something will help me get myself sorted." The hard part of course - as you mentioned - is "which project?"
Tashi found his answer to this question by getting out-and-about to neighbouring towns to 'window shop', to see what other crafty people were up to. It was like 'market research', but without having to talk to anyone (hooray). It took awhile but in the end he found a project, sold off some old archery equipment, and reinvested the cash in some tools and raw materials ... and then got to work in a spare room at home.
Nowadays his nervous energies are largely absorbed by the challenges and routine ... at least ... when he gets his sorry arse away from blogger and actually does some work! lol. Seriously though, for this agoraphobic the project did indeed "got me sorted".
All the best Rachel.
Sorry, forgot to mention ... you've developed great blogging skills Rachel and these could conceivably be used to market a 'project'. Here's a link ... www.laurasparling.blogspot.com
Have a look what this lady has done with her home made lampwork beadmaking project and a blog. She's having heaps of fun and is just raking it in ! Tashi thinks she's an inspiration to all craft-oriented home business owners.
Thanks for your comment hun... she looks amazin! Well I have begun to start by making my own truffles! in the hope of selling them.... so here goes we will see...it will be a journey but I have to start somewhere....I have no food/hygiene but I suppose everyone starts at home x and if it takes off I will do it properly xxxx
heres a link to my ebay site...
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=170232478222&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=007
that link dont work...will pop it on my next posting x
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