Tuesday, 15 April 2008

A BIG STEP ! A BRAVE GIRL!


Yes I am praising myself! Today I asked my mate Neil to take me to Worksop..the nearest town close to me that I havn't been to since DECEMBER.... the last time I went was pure panic and I have actually throught the years had some of my worst panic attacks in this town...But today I just needed to go to one shop (not in the town centre) and I could get out the car and pop into the shop and out again! But ..... on the way there the symptoms started!!!!! First as I got in the car at my house I started with the ectopics...then I calmed down and as I got about 2 miles away I nearly said to Neil to turn back as my heart was pounding a little and I was hot....I said "Oh Neil what a lovely day, can I open the window"...but after 2 mins Neil was freezin! LOL but i thought NOPE I aint telling Neil to turn back yet...sO I carried on ...got to the shop and got out the car...My chest went as tight as a bugga ... but I carried on, got me tiles and said! "Neil if I could let you have a minute in my body to let you taste the battle that is going on you would be amazed" ...Neil said " Why have you been panickin" told him how I had felt and he said "well you have done well then Rach"....which made me feel good.....I am trying to accept the fact that when I push myself and get all the feelings of panic to understand these are only symptoms and I am sure with practice and perseverence they may fade away. I have done well on me diet these past two days and I feel loosing weight will help my anxiety.... as I may not look it as I am tall but I don't mind telling you guys I am 17.5 stone.... I have put weight on this yr due to lack of walking around etc....So hopefuly a new Rach might help things eh! piccy is of Worksop town center!

4 comments:

Gary said...

It's so hard to face your fears i know how it feels once your bodily symptoms kick in your just there for the ride arnt you, you are doing really well though Rach keep it up! xxxx

Robert said...

May I offer you my congratulations? I'm sure that if you keep this up, the demon anxiety will be taking a beating. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

And 17.5 stone???? I don't believe it!!! You don't look anything like it.

Rachel's Diary said...

Thanks Gary, think we in the same boat at the mo...and Robert.. I carry my weight well (if I say so myself) because im tall and it is distributed in two areas if u know what I mean LOL!!!!! (40 F cough cough ) It has never bothered me much how I look,cos I have always looked after my self, its how I feel that is bothering me xxx Thanks for ur encouragments xx

Coffeecup said...

Well you must have remained completely composed and in total control. It's amazing that people have no idea what's going on inside when we're all worked up, look so normal don't we? There's your evidence that you can cope beautifully. Well done sweetheart! ;-) xxx