Saturday, 8 March 2008

Anxiety Ahoy!!!!!

Had a better day, and last night I awoke , panicked and rode the panic out on my bed without leaping up ( claire weeks tell you to do that)......
So today Libby, Neil and myself went to visit an old village I used to live in called Beckingham, It was where all my panic attacks and agrophobia began, I was 20 yrs old and had a breakdown there due to being 25 miles from home in an area which was very upperclass (not me) and had no car and both had no jobs as there was 1 bus a day... the council put us there as a temperary measure but then woudlnt move us...we ended up being there for 2.5 yrs and got a swap in the end... I have never really been right since... but there is one statement I will make... I was 100% worse there... I had several major panic attacks a day... and ectopic beats of the heart every 3rd beat for 18 months! So i can get better... this past 10 months of my life has been the worst since then!
SO to continue with today.... we went a river were I used to go as a child and we found a dredger boat so of course me and libby had a jump on there as no-none was around... ended up at my sisters house for a couple of hours...part chilled, part stressed! Was anxious doing these things but the good thing is that I did them!....... Libby is in the piccy on the boat today.
Hopefully sleep will come tonight xxxx


Anonymous said...

Beckingham! that is a posh little place! glad you had a better night, and stood up to the anxiety! and sounds like you had a good day as well! xxx

Rachel's Diary said...

thanks,,,, its the beckingham nr gainsborough....yeah, too posh xxx