Saturday, 23 February 2008

Boredom: the desire for desires


This morning was fine but by the time 3pm came that was it....BORED!!! I think it is half my problem BOREDOM.... I have loads to do ....loads of interests but lately I am BORED!!! It is catch 22 because I wouldnt be bored if I could go for a long walk wiv my doggies or get on a bus and go off for the day like I used too... but now being trapped in a safe zone is making my life teadious and miserable... My personality is an explorer, exciting,discoverer, but having been kidnapped by this desease "Anxiety" then my personality is dulled.... Lately I seem to have a good week then a bad week etc etc... My Mother rang me today and said she aint heard from me all week, I didnt even realize as this wk as gone so fast... even my sister said the same as I aint contacted any one. Feel so alone at the moment , not literally but mentally...I wish someone could climb inside this mushy head and tweek a few buttons and put it all right again... !!! Over and out!

(enzo , me whippet - pictured above)

4 comments:

Gary said...

i know what you mean about good week then bad week! this agraphobia thing is horrible for people! i'm more in the way of claustraphobia, like public transport! Anxiety really sucks! xxx

Coffeecup said...

Totally empathise! Rotten few days myself lass. You want to be going places and it's stopping you. Anyone would feel down, and when you're down you're more anxious. Vicious circle isn't it? So sorry you're feeling like this hunny. You're doing fabulous you know, aim for a few smaller goals that you must do to keep up the motivation and stave off apathy. Wishing you well Rachel.....x

Rachel's Diary said...

thanks u two xxxxxx

Simon said...

Oh! that's not good Rachel! We plan for the good days but not the bad ones. But look forward to the better ones - you know they'll come soon. Pecker up and all that x