Today Libby went to the fanstatic science exhibition come adventure centre in Sheffield "Magna"... last night she said to me to come but the fear that came over me was unreal...all of a sudden questions ( she has been before) came pouring out my mouth like, is it a big place? Is there lots of stairs? ,are there lots of exits? Is it hot? Do they show you medical things like how the heart works etc (cant cope)? Will it be crowded...the answer to all these were all YES to my despair!...So this morning I made excuses from I have nothing to wear due to no washer, to,
my hair needs dying! ... I think Lib got the gist but Oh I felt like a big GIT! Of course I wanted to go but I can't!!!! Any way in the end she went with her Nan and Grandad and they had the most fab time. People don't understand what a task it is just to do normal every day things when you have anxiety/agraphobia... I can't tell you how near I was to say..."bugga it im going with you Lib".... SO even that in itself makes me feel changes are coming... I have been offered to go on Holiday for a few days with my freind Sharon, I have said YES!!! Im am crapping my self But I am going to go! I AM BLOODY GOING!!!!!! Its only for 4-5 days..Lib is comin too! To Skegness in a caravan.
So to sum it up this yr so far....slow progress in the positive direction, thanks to some good friends! xxxx
2 comments:
I know exactly how you feel Rach! you can't help it! and don't worry, ive got things booked! i booked em on the basis of how i used to be! at this present moment i don't know how i'm gonna do them!!! all we can do is try!
your doing well Rach!
take care xxxx
your be fine once you get rachel ,and if your not then we will cope ,it will do you good i think,xx
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